Natural Disasters in the Granola State

People find great pleasure in mocking Californians. I suppose it’s easy. We even mock ourselves. When I taught in San Jose, my colleagues called our grade level teachers the “granolas”- the fruits, nuts and flakes. Despite being grossly politically incorrect, the label was accurate.

Friends outside of California seem to think we experience daily earthquakes. I’m cautious in sharing about the recent earthquake when I realize I could have been killed by books as I watched the six foot bookshelf by my chair shake and lurch. My three year old stood in the doorway, eyes bulging and mouth frozen in a giant “O”. I scooped him up and we stood in the door frame, his arms around my neck as he repeatedly whispered, “Scary”. I rather enjoyed the rocking and rolling sensation, but unlike my kid, it wasn’t my first and I knew the earth would eventually calm its self.

I cancelled class yesterday to rush home after my husband told me our neighborhood was on fire. Southern California has the distinct pleasure of experiencing earthquakes in addition to floods, fires, draught and an occasional bout with locust. I’ve heard out-of-staters claim it’s God’s punishment on us all for the filth that oozes out of Hollywood. Perhaps God is targeting the San Fernando Valley- top producer of pornography, but I rather doubt it. I have my own theory. God is using Darwin’s theory of natural selection. You have to be hearty and a little nutty- back to the granola theory- to make it in California- a place where a half million dollar three bedroom home seems like a steal and traffic can triple or double the time and frustration of a commute. I believe God is simply trying to prepare Southern Californians for when the state becomes an island after the next huge earthquake. We’ll need to be more resourceful, understand the logic of over-inflated property values and deal with natural catastrophes since the government will stop caring so much about our little far off island. It will primarily be out of jealousy. It’s just a theory.