For all the days I ditched high school to go to the beach, the state of California had no right to give me a diploma. Shame on them. Worse than that, I avoided Chemistry and Moby-Dick and still made it to college to eventually end up with a Ph.D. Life's not fair. I'm sure the universe will get even with me shortly.
However, in my attempt to right an educational wrong, I am now reading Moby-Dick and have joyfully discovered my new favorite line in literature! Here it goes:
"No town-bred dandy will compare with a country-bred one- I mean a downright bumpkin dandy- a fellow that, in the dog-days, will mow his two acres in buckskin gloves for fear of tanning his hands" (p. 126). Can you believe that? Buckskin gloves? Give me a break! Crazy town-bred bumpkin dandy. Sheesh.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
I Look 12.
A few months ago I decided it was time for a change- which always ends badly with hair scissors. Tragic is a far more appropriate word when my hand is guiding the sheers. Yet I tend to forget this as I snip, snip, snip and feign shock at chunks of hair on the counter top and eventually recall that I was going to leave haircutting to the professionals.
Rather than going haphazardly at the hairs from the front of my crown right down to my chin, I did what any reasonable novice might do. I consulted www.howto.com. My search, "how do I cut my bangs" led to a homemade video which should have tipped me off- or at least caused a few moments of hesitation, but it didn't. I played the video through once to see how it ended. The model looked exactly the same in the end. How hard could it be, I asked myself in the mirror. Let me speed up this story to the ending...
Hair stylists do not generally work on Mondays- except by appointment- which is why my hair stylist had her car in the shop last Monday. She lives around the corner and agreed to let me pick her up and take us to the shop for a professional cut. It had to be Monday. The next day I had a dissertation defense meeting and just my luck, the chair of the dissertation was also the chair of the search committee that did not hire me to their top notch university. Not that bangs would make much of a difference, but I felt better knowing my hair was not cut by a novice following a novice video on www.howto.com. Unfortunately, my bangs now make me look like I'm 12.
Why my hair must suffer during my obsessions with change is illogical. As I said, it typically ends badly. Either I get rid of the sheers or stop wrestling with the desire for change. Perhaps I'll search www.howto.com for how to resolve this dilemma.
Rather than going haphazardly at the hairs from the front of my crown right down to my chin, I did what any reasonable novice might do. I consulted www.howto.com. My search, "how do I cut my bangs" led to a homemade video which should have tipped me off- or at least caused a few moments of hesitation, but it didn't. I played the video through once to see how it ended. The model looked exactly the same in the end. How hard could it be, I asked myself in the mirror. Let me speed up this story to the ending...
Hair stylists do not generally work on Mondays- except by appointment- which is why my hair stylist had her car in the shop last Monday. She lives around the corner and agreed to let me pick her up and take us to the shop for a professional cut. It had to be Monday. The next day I had a dissertation defense meeting and just my luck, the chair of the dissertation was also the chair of the search committee that did not hire me to their top notch university. Not that bangs would make much of a difference, but I felt better knowing my hair was not cut by a novice following a novice video on www.howto.com. Unfortunately, my bangs now make me look like I'm 12.
Why my hair must suffer during my obsessions with change is illogical. As I said, it typically ends badly. Either I get rid of the sheers or stop wrestling with the desire for change. Perhaps I'll search www.howto.com for how to resolve this dilemma.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
We Need a Hooker
Last night I was informed by my 3 year old that we need to buy a hooker. When I asked where I might find one, he told me to check Target. I’ve not looked for a hooker at Target so I had no right to dismiss his suggestion and will check the next time I go. After peeking in his room to see why he might need a hooker, I realized he was standing in a pile of baseball hats, trying to hang them on the four hooks on the back of his door. Clearly, he needs more than just a few hookers.
Speaking of hookers, or at least the way the media likes to portray the women in the lives of men in politics who aren’t legally married to the married men, I am amused by the news coverage of John Edward’s “mistress” and possible mother of his “love child”. I appreciate the media’s consideration in emphasizing that his love affair occurred between his wife’s bouts with cancer. Noble. I’m not sure how this helps him given the average American pouring over news reports of this man who might have been President.
What if Edwards had won the Democratic nomination? What if this "news" had been leaked on November 3rd? Could America forgive this man? Apparently not. As I read through one story after another about this cheating, morally corrupt, good-for-nothing… you get the point. No- he will not be forgiven. What makes it particularly messy is the possible pay off to keep the “mistress” quiet. Not terribly original, but we do love a messy affair with scandal and suspense. Just not when it comes to our political leaders. We certainly are a self-righteous group of voters.
And back to the 3 year old's dilemma. I wonder if hookers come in a variety of colors and sizes. I'll need to look into this further at Target.
Speaking of hookers, or at least the way the media likes to portray the women in the lives of men in politics who aren’t legally married to the married men, I am amused by the news coverage of John Edward’s “mistress” and possible mother of his “love child”. I appreciate the media’s consideration in emphasizing that his love affair occurred between his wife’s bouts with cancer. Noble. I’m not sure how this helps him given the average American pouring over news reports of this man who might have been President.
What if Edwards had won the Democratic nomination? What if this "news" had been leaked on November 3rd? Could America forgive this man? Apparently not. As I read through one story after another about this cheating, morally corrupt, good-for-nothing… you get the point. No- he will not be forgiven. What makes it particularly messy is the possible pay off to keep the “mistress” quiet. Not terribly original, but we do love a messy affair with scandal and suspense. Just not when it comes to our political leaders. We certainly are a self-righteous group of voters.
And back to the 3 year old's dilemma. I wonder if hookers come in a variety of colors and sizes. I'll need to look into this further at Target.
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