Middle Generation

Weekend day trips to Carlsbad are becoming more frequent. The round trip from my door to my parents' front door is 110 miles and typically takes two hours, assuming traffic is minimal. Two hours in the car is plenty of time to reconcile my role as one in the middle generation while I periodically glance in the rear view mirror at my boys playing together in the backseat. They are the reason I go to Carlsbad- to bring joy and laughter to my parents who are feeling the lull of retirement and health challenges. I recall trips to Los Angeles from our home in North County, practically the same distance, so that my sister and I could spend time with my mom's parents. This is what it means to be the middle generation.

At 9:00 a.m., an hour after I had planned to leave, I packed the boys, one Batman and one filthy gray back pack, a Batman computer and snacks into the Camry. The three year old wanted to know if he had to go to daycare and squealed in delight when I reminded him we were going to see the grandma and the paw paw in the blue house. I tossed my bag- loaded with clean underwear and shorts for the boys, my laptop and charger and wallet- onto the passenger seat. Two hours later, birthday cake in hand, homemade cards and grins- we greeted my parents and the hours stretched on in true lazy day style of chatting and swimming and made up games on the front room floor with paw paw.

After seven hours, two backpacks, two exhausted boys full of candy and beef Jerky, wet bathing suits and a bag with a laptop unopened make it back into the Camry. My parents thank me individually, whispering how much it means to the other grandparent as if it's a secret as to why these trips have become more frequent. Today we used my mom's birthday as the excuse. Last time it was to bring my grandmother down for a weekend at their house. Next time might be because school is starting soon and our schedules will fill up with pee wee football games, homework, art class and that day job I keep. And despite school starting and a full schedule beginning in September, we'll find reasons- some legitimate and some made up to be legitimate- to make day trips to Carlsbad.

I am the middle generation and while it delights me to no end to see my parents enjoying the boys, I have to admit that day trips are not the answer. We moved back to California after four years in Michigan to be close to family- but California is a long state from north to south and we need to devise a plan to bring the village model back. This is what it means to be the middle generation. It is both my privilege and challenge.